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You’re getting married and in preparation for the big day, it’s time to think about what you need. I’m talking gift registry! You don’t want twelve sets of barware, and you don’t want things that you’ll never use. (True story: my father’s best friend bought an ice cream maker for my parent’s wedding. My mom’s kind of crazy, sure, but it didn’t matter, after that my dad never saw him again). Anyway, here are some tips to make sure that you have a gift registry that will be respected and fulfilled.

1. Do it early. Give people lots of time to shop for you, because hey, it’s just more polite, and you’re more likely to get everything you need and want.

2. Pick a store that you both like. It should also be national, so that if you have guests coming in from out of town, they won’t have to scramble to get you a gift. The internet is great, but just remember that older folks may have trouble doing their shopping online.

3. Work together to choose what you want. I mean, you’re getting married, so you’ve got to be able to work together. Whether it’s modern, classic, eclectic, or retro, if you can’t decide on certain items, compromise is always a sound alternative to arguing. You can pick this one, he can pick that one, or you can find middle ground on the one item.

4. If you don’t know what to include, talk to a friend – preferably a married one. If you’re having a large wedding, make sure that the registry is huge. There’s nothing worse than shopping at the last minute only to find that nothing is left to buy. It’s not rude to ask for a lot; that way provides people with more alternatives.

5. Be practical. Ask for things that you will actually use, like tabletop accessories for the kitchen, and throughout the house. When it comes to fine china, it’s nice to have – if you plan on entertaining eventually – but it’s much more practical to ask for a normal set of dinnerware and tabletop accessories. Besides, if you’re ever having a formal party, you can always borrow a set from a friend.

6. Register for sets in pieces. This allows people to not have to splurge on an entire bathroom getup.

7. But register for gifts in all price ranges because you don’t want any friends down on their luck to feel bad when they can’t find you anything on the registry. You also don’t want close family to have to buy you a few smaller presents to demonstrate their love.

8. Update your registry often. Keep checking in to see what has been bought (like I really need to tell you that) and updating it with more gifts so that people can choose from a wide variety. Keep the ratio of available gifts to guests about two to one.

9. Gift cards are a great alternative to asking for straight up cash. That way you can decide exactly what you want and be polite about it.

10. Write thank you notes to ensure that your guests know you appreciate what they gave you. They’ll stay your friends and feel good about having bought what you needed.

Congratulations! Have a beautiful wedding and enjoy all those presents!